This week, I am covering dining etiquette! This is a vast topic and can be broken into many posts so today, I am highlighting what I think are the foundational pieces of dining etiquette. Even though “dining etiquette” may feel like a formal topic, a lot of these tips can be used in everyday circumstances such as client luncheons or dinners, going out for a date, dinner with a significant other’s family, and many other settings! Here are my 8 Foundational Dining Etiquette Tips:
- Arriving at the Table and Being Seated
- Stand to the right of your seat and enter from that side.
- When everyone arrives at your table, the Host/Hostess invites the table to sit. Allow the Guest of Honor (to the Host/Hostess’ right) to begin sitting first, then the rest of table follows.
- If everyone has not arrived at your table, but it is time to sit down, allow the evening to proceed as it should.
- If additional guests join your table, stand to introduce yourself.
- Anytime a lady excuses herself from the table, the gentlemen should stand as well. The same applies for when she returns.
- If you have a purse with you, place it under your seat or in your lap if it is small. A purse should not be placed on the table.
- Napkin Duty
- Once seated, remove the napkin from your place setting, but do not unfold it.
- With the napkin on your lap, unfold it so the main fold is towards you. This prevents crumbs from falling out onto you when you pick-up your napkin.
- B – M – W
- Your Bread is to the left of your plate.
- Your Meal is directly in front of you.
- Your Water/Wine is to the right of your plate.
- Which piece of silverware do I use?!
- Work your way from the outside, in.
- The silverware at the top of your plate is for dessert; do not touch it during the earlier courses. The wait staff should adjust your place setting prior to dessert. If they do not, the fork goes to your left and the knife or spoon goes to your right.
- Ah, there are so many glasses!
- 3 or 4 Course Meal: Work from the bottom, up. The glass(es) closest to you will be for wine during your meal, the next and largest glass is for water, and the small, skinny flute is typically for champagne for toasts and/or dessert drinks.
- 6 Course Meal: Work diagonally (from right to left), up.
- If you do not want to be served wine or you do not care for coffee with dessert, simply say “No, thank you.” and place your hand gently over the glass to signal to the waiter not to pour. Turning your glass/cup upside down is not appropriate.
- Dining American or European/Continental Style?
This is actually an entire post of its own (look for another one coming soon!), but a few major points are:
- American Style: You switch your fork and knife between hands to cut then take the food to your mouth with your fork in the dominant hand. Continental Style: You keep the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right, both facing down, with your wrists against the table.
- American Style: hands do not touch the table. Continental Style: Wrists always remain on the edge of the table both when you are eating and when you are resting.
- Both styles: Once finished, place your knife with the blade facing you and fork facing up (American)/down (Continental) in the 4 o’clock position on the plate. This signals to the server you are finished.
- Both styles: Cut one bite of meat or food at a time. Put that piece in your mouth then cut the next.
- Need to leave the table?
- Simply say, “Please excuse me for a moment.” No one needs to know you are going to use the restroom!
- Place your napkin neatly on your seat.
- Exit your chair on the right side and when you return to the table, enter your chair from the right.
- At the completion of the meal
- Place your napkin neatly on the table to signal you are not returning.
- Exit your seat on the right side.
I hope this breaks down dining etiquette into digestible bits and provides you with the foundational pieces! If you have questions about any of these tips or about another topic, please comment here or contact me. I love hearing from my readers and answering your questions.